One Word

BRUNO!!!

"The Legend" Rayford Faulkner

a look inside the mind of the man. an exclusive interview.

"I'm very, very glad of it."

Almost Bacon Related

And in the interest of making this also David Cross-related:

Road to the Show

this is how i've been busying myself during my vacation thus far.

because ACTUAL physial exertion and ACTUAL accomplishment is lame. american television taught me that much.

word.

david cross-in' my legs

okay. i had the most awkward public bathroom experience i've had in a while today. and it wasn't even a completely public bathroom. it was the office ladies' room.

there are only two stalls and when i went in there someone was in my favorite. so there you go, already awkward. so i went in the gaping handicapped stall and got total stage fright. so did whomever was in the good stall. we both sat there, silent, not peeing or otherwise, for what seemed an eternity but was probably only about 2.5 - 3 minutes. i finally gave up because i had to go to some meeting (which was almost just as uncomfortable for completely unrelated reasons) and i prayed (i'm hyperbolizing) that my fellow frightened actress wouldn't also emerge from her cell. that would have been truly mortifying.

she didn't.

i washed my hands quickly, feeling guilty for having interupted what i can only infer was a numero dos.

gross.

i don't do that. i'm a lady.



alright. i feel much better having gotten that off my chest. tomorrow is a new day full of a pot of pre-work coffee, water-cooler-water and too many trips to the bathroom.

another thing about the office bathroom is there's a couch in there. in high school (maybe junior high, this is a really stupid anecdote and i'm sorry to waste your time) we used to tell boys that we had a couch in our bathroom. it was a lie. but there really is one at The Post-Star.

Fun With Google Street View

I'm a sucker for Google Street View. I find it useful to get a sense of what a new destination looks like, so that when I make a journey, I know what I'm looking for. For instance, I used it to figure out exactly where the guitar shop I was planning to visit was located and where I could potentially find parking.

Other people, people who have even more time to kill than I do, have been examining the relatively new feature and finding some interesting activities captured by the car-mounted camera. My favorite so far: This apparent drug deal.



These were taken from the premier source for Street View and Google satellite finds, GoogleSightseeing.com.

A few of my favorites are:

Street Fight!

Multi-Vehicle Accident

and the Flying Car

If you happen to find anything of note, please let me know.

freaky friday

so i had a really relaxing friday night. i can't decide if it was cool or lame, but either way, i did my laundry, and that was a chore i'd been putting off for a whole entire week.

i also discovered the television series from the early '90s, Swamp Thing.

awwww yeeaaahhhhh. i'm a fan of Alan Moore's Swamp Thing. the show doesn't hold a candle to the comic, but i suppose that's to be expected.

paul, i'm guessing you already knew about this show, but you can watch it on openhulu.com.

do it. you won't be disappointed. everything about it is brilliant. i have tentative plans with shawn tonight. if she ends up ditching me for a dude, i'll be okay. i'll have dr. arcane and friends.

(Bob &) David's Situation

More information has surfaced regarding the triumphant return of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk to HBO. The program's working title is "David's Situation."

David will star, Bob will direct, and it will follow a sitcom format.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, David will play the role of David Cross, an actor who leaves Hollywood in favor of a suburban, gated community. He'll have two roommates: a liberal hippie and a right-wing conservative.

Mr. Cross says that, "because it's HBO, we are going to write and shoot our own commercials that will probably have nothing to do with the show, and have two commercial breaks and have an epilogue and all that stuff. And if it comes naturally to swear, or have something a little more than you wouldn't have on network TV, we'll definitely do that."

With any luck, those commercials will be as good as these:




I cannot wait. They're aiming for an April start date on production.

David Cross & Bob Odenkirk, Together Again At Long Last and Finally Once More!

Rejoice, those of you with taste.

According to their website, HBO has taken the first step towards making amends for canceling one of the greatest television shows in the history of ever.

They're back. Shooting will begin in a couple of months. It is as if my prayers have been answered.

Thank you, God.

david cross never returns my calls

sundays are typically awesome or awful. yesterday was more awful than awesome, i think. i'm not sure.

i rented 5 DVDs (which i think is going to become my new sunday tradition ... such a bachelorette!): Twin Peaks season 1 disc 1, Twin Peaks season 1 disc 2, Candy (heath ledger flick, i saw a preview on another DVD ... i dunno if it's good or lame), Magnolia, Legend

twenty or so minutes into watching Magnolia i realized that i rented 2 tom cruise movies. wtf. what's the meaning of that? don't tell me it's just a coincidence. maybe i'm a scientologist. or dyslexic. argh.

i didn't make it through Magnolia. it made me feel crazy. so i took a walk for which i was terribly underdressed but it went on for like an hour and a half and i heard a freakin' GUN SHOT, bros! at like 9 p.m. on a sunday night near phila street. what's the meaning of that?

i headed home after that. and watched star trek. my favorite part of sundays. better than church, even. then i watched so much internet office, via openhulu.com.

other notable moments from my weekend:

-- worked for 8 hours on saturday at a high school basketball tournament at the glens falls civic center. lots of sitting around and waiting for photographers to file photos to put online and my boss to put a video online. i did get to see a 500-pound man, though.

-- saw (friend, not brother) jeff's band Empire State Troopers. they aight.

-- contacted the spirit of a cat via homemade ouija board with Shawn

-- hung out with my fish, Clarece

Speechless

We've all been there. Each and every one of us. Cruising in our Ford Taurus, sipping New Coke, wearing our Mr. Mister concert t-shirt, just wishing that a group of Japanese impressionists would finally do a version of "We Are The World."

Well, my fellow dreamers, that day has dawned at last.


日本ありがとう

david lives!

i'm not even talking about david cross this time!

paulie, i have some weird, vague memory of us and david the gnome. what is it? tell me! i wanna remember!

anyway, one of the editors at the paper shared this with us today. i guess some dudes in argentina were hangin out, makin cell phone movies, and caught some footage of this lil' rascal! the best part is at the end, so wait it out. it's totally worth it:

in other awesome news, a lady's butt grew around her toilet somewhere in the midwest and lolcats are on the cover of the new metroland, making fun of eliot spitzer. WHAT A DAY!! :)

Jeff Tweedy on Migranes, Panic Attacks, and Music

Venture over to the NY Times to check it out.

geekin' out

paulie poops a lot, this one's for you:

perhaps you already know.

my friend from work e-mailed this link to me. the only other text in the e-mail was "Dude." then i ran to his desk and we gushed about it for a while before one of the IT guys (stereotypically) came over and threw his 2 cents in.

you'd have been proud, old man. you'd have been proud.

i can't view your site, BTW. i get some weird error message. supwitdat?

he looks great, but i'm more excited to see kovacs. faceless. one year, they say. on kara's (gasp) 14th birthday.

wiggly world

patrick swayze has cancer and the Today show, along with countless other media outlets, are a wreck over it.

not to be insensitive, but lots of people get cancer every day. the richer you are, the better chances you have of getting the best treatment and overcoming. the older you are (i hardly care if i sound insensitive), the less sorry i feel for you. i don't know why we have to freak out over it when someone famous (dried up, though they may be) falls ill.





patrick swayze has lived a hell of a life. he was successful and he even got some hipster-cred with his eerily convincing portrayal of a pervy motivational speaker in Donnie Darko, alongside the ever-studly Jake Gyllenhaal.

i feel sorry for people who are diagnosed with cancer when they are just about to step into life. and i don't mean babies.

i mean the two people i graduated high school with who were diagnosed with very serious cases of cancer at the ripe ages of 20 and/or 21. i'm not certain of the details of one of them, so i'll just tell the story that i do know.

my friend was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 21. he had one of his testicles removed at the age of 21. the cancer spread to his lymph nodes. he was on steroids. he was 21.

he survived and last time i saw him he looked really healthy, despite the gash arched across his stomach. they had to cut his belly skin open, reach behind his guts and kidney, and remove tumors from him lymph nodes.

he was 21.

sorry, but this is way sadder than patrick swayze getting pancreatic cancer.

and, again, not to sound insensitive, but sometimes we have to make room for new bodies on this big, great earth of ours. i remember a really great explanation of the troublesome concept of life and death from something i watched on tv as a wee lass. for some reason i'm thinking i learned this on "step by step," but i could be completely wrong. anyway, an older sibling (or maybe parent or stepparent) explained the living world to be like a hotel. people have to check out so that others can check in.

it made so much sense to me. it still does.

alas, i'm lucky enough to still have never lost anyone close to me, so i am spoiled and naive about death and mourning. but i don't think we need to mourn senor swayze just yet, that's all.

also, today was pretty much as great as i'd expected it to be. had fun with the archivist, laughed a lot at work, ran with a friend, ate some salsa, and here i am now, watching Lipstick Jungle.

moving on to crossword puzzles and late-night newscast soon, eh?

david cross thinks i should be a librarian

today will be a good day.

i got to sleep in an hour late. i'm about to go hang out with a library archivist and pick out photos from 100 years ago of glens falls people livin da' lyfe. then i'm going to go to work and, barring any major catastrophe, play with some HTML.

and it's thursday, so i'll watch Lipstick Jungle (low-rent Sex and the City) at 10 p.m.

am i proud that i'll watch Lipstick Jungle? not particularly. am i ashamed? hellz no. girl's gotta have a guilty pleasure!

also, i saw what may be the best vanity plate i've ever seen yesterday. "BCH PLZ"

incredible. shawn and i always txt each other vanity plates (we call 'em VPs) that make us smile. i saw this gem just a few minutes after seeing two driving in a row: "SUSIE 65" was driving ahead of "LIVE4FUN". sure, those were alright. but then BCH PLZ?! bitch, please! who can compete with that?

i saw it and started cracking up and made eye contact with the driver, who was presumably a 15 year old from Westchester County. she looked mad at me. i hope she realized that i was admiring her work. i was also admiring her Lexus SUV. i'm sure she worked very hard to own such a luxurious luxury vehicle at such a young age.

maybe she envied the missing headlight on my '97 Saturn. who could blame her?

The David Cross of Burgers

A bold declaration to be certain, but just look at this monstrocity of deliciocity.



Burgers served between donuts have been swirling (yes, swirling) around these very internets for years, but never, NEVER have I seen one that also served up bacon and eggs until the Lady's Brunch Burger.

Take that, terrorists. We win. Game over.

i still have a crush on justin timberlake

i was going to blog about my crazy morning, but i'm using my better judgment and deciding against it. it wasn't that crazy.

just a wild scramble caused by oversleeping. long story short, i woke up incredibly late, got my period and went to work wearing backwards leggings. alas, i still left my apartment literally within 10 minutes of waking and i didn't even look like garbage.






moving on ...

shawn and i noticed an interesting phenomenon this weekend at karaoke night. we met a friend of a friend, who was a really swell guy and sang a killer Prince song (i'm not familiar with it, so i don't remember the name. i also drank lots of champagne). his name was Mattie. Mattie was wearing a white shirt with black horizontal stripes.




the phenomenon i'm about to discuss has nothing to do with horizontal stripes being unflattering. Mattie's just a little squirt. he looked great.

the phenomenon we noticed is the great disparity of flirtation styles between homosexuals and heterosexuals. there was an older dude (he probably had about 15 years on Mattie, not that there's anything wrong with that, just tellin' the fax) wearing a similar shirt to Mattie who was hitting on him. first silly thing was that they were kind of dressed alike.

at one point, i looked over and saw this bigger (not fat, just not a lil' squirt like Mattie), older gentleman (who was also wearing carpenter jeans ... hel-LO!) sitting at a table with Mattie, showing him his iPhone. nothing too strange there, right?

no, that would have been fine. but this man was holding Mattie. fully embracing the poor kid. arms completely encircling our new pop-lovin' friend. HUH?!

as Shawn said last night, 'i would never let a random dude hold me at a bar.'

maybe it had nothing to do with their orientation. but it is a trend at karaoke night. the men there are so affectionate, but lovingly so; it's not usualy too sleazy.

now, if Shawn and i frequented meat-market type "clubs" (something i've been trying to get her to do because i just wanna bust a funky move!), maybe we'd be privy to more hetero-specific weird flirtation techniques. it just seems that they tend to be either completely veiled and fruitless, or blantantly carnal and drunkenly fulfilled. dudes hitting on each other at karaoke night are usually a bit more tender. although, some are just as vile as any frat dude would boast of being.

maybe shawn's a homophobe.

i guess being held is nicer than bad pick-up lines and unsolicited groping. if i ever meet david cross at a karaoke night, i hope he flirts with me in any way he sees fit.

p.s.
shawn and i sang "faith" by george michael, i sang "heartbreaker" by pat benetar solo, i sang "love song" by the cure with matt igler, and shawn dueted with our friend nick to "cold as ice" by foreigner

David Cross and Ally

i take back everything i said about David Cross' feelings for my younger sister, Ally. clearly ... it's a love connection.

google doesn't lie.

go ahead and plug in "David Cross Ally Brisbin" and you'll see destiny.

please note that MY site ranks above THIS one.

thank you.

and, yeah. congrats, ally. it's only a matter of time.

did you hear the one about david cross?

as of mid-afternoon saturday, i'm about one thousand dollars further in debt.

i bought a new computer, because my ancient 2003 model can hardly stand to do more than stay awake while i type a word doc.

i got this lil' gal. a pretty sweet deal for a honey of a machine (do i sound like a total idiot yet?).

here's something strange, though:

so my neighbor told me his password to access his wireless network about two months back, but it didn't work when i tried it (multiple times, i might add) on the old bag a'chips. yesterday, i figured i'd give it a shot on my new little baby and it work! sacre bleu!

any ideas, boys, as to why it allows me to connect on this one?

david cross, are you picking up STR posts on your google alert? don't be shy. we don't bite.