david cross doesn't return my calls

what happened to us?

i know we're all busy people, but c'mon!

boys, i ran into eileen venn last weekend. paul, she says you're hedging a bit in regards to wiffle ball weekend availability. she was also trashed at 8:30 on a friday, so who knows what's true and what's false. she ALSO asked me if you're still with 'lisa.'

i told her you canned that broad and just recently started seeing some middle school skank named alicia.

anyway, i miss my brothers and i miss my brothers' blog posts.

i'm not funny. you guys are. make something happen.

where is david cross' numetal band hiding?

shawn shared this with me. i bet you guys already know all about it. i bet paul knows all the lyrics.

behold: jada pinkett smith's musical endeavor.

so many questions running through my mind right now.

listening to dead musicians is welcoming to ghosties

i haven't used the ouija in almost a week and it was a lovely night out, so i figured i'd try it out.

brothers (and shawn), you have no idea what i experienced.

it asked for mom.

i've been talking with the same ghost for a while, and it has always been really fixated on "n" and "z". makes a little more sense now.

am i losing it? or do y'all think it's real?

Quite Literally Brushing His Shoulder Off.

This is THE defining moment in Obama's campaign for the Democratic nod.

Yes, America. He's feelin' like a pimp.

the day the unicorns came out to play

today, we saw a goth momma with her kid on a leash.

today, we also saw a david cross doppleganger.

today, i got a lot of freaky phone calls.

today, i took a break from the ouija board, but i'm considering using it before i head out.

what did y'all do today?

No Talent Required

Want to be a rock star? A pop sensation? A new age impresario? Well, of course you do. Younger readers may not remember a time when skill and talent was needed to be a successful musician, as opposed to merely having a stylist, publicist, and one of those pitch-correcting computer things.

Those were the days.

Anywho, I've recently seen a couple of innovations that could help any secret superstar achieve their dream of never being able to walk down a street without being harassed by paparazzi and autograph hounds.

The first is a program that records you "singing" acapella and then runs all sorts of crazy algorithms and other assorted mathematical witchcraft, and in a matter of seconds provides your "musical offering" with accompanying music. It is called MySong.

I encourage anyone who may utilize this fine product to please share the results with me. Please. I ask for so precious little, people. Not precious little people, although I have nothing against those who are both valuable and of shorter stature, either. I'm open minded. I mean, hey...it's the nineties.

Pardon my digression.

The second technological advancement in music I'd like to bring to your attention is a new instrument of sorts from Sharper Image that you play by interfering with infrared beams. It doesn't get much more rock n' roll than that. The promotional video is on youtube and can be seen by clicking on the li'l viewer below. I will mention that I have not actually heard the audio that goes along with this. I watched it with my speakers off and I think it only added to its perfection. But you do as you like. I'm not here to tell you how to enjoy this clip, even if it is hilarious without sound. You need to learn to make your own choices. You're blossoming into adulthood. It is important for you to take ownership of your choices and the path your life takes. It's up to you. Sorry, but I can't decide for you on this one.

But if I were you, I'd definitely mute the heck out of it.

Don't let that influence your decision. Be your own person.



May the music of your soul flow forth like so many rivers into the ocean of the world's ears.

why did the david cross the road?

i started a solo blog. DON'T BE OFFENDED, BROTHERS. i shan't neglect STR all the while.

i'm trying to be a better writer. and i think that if i try it out on this other site, maybe i'll do it. i don't really care if no one reads it. i might not want anyone to read it. but i need to feel like i should be doing it. so i put a link to it on my facebook page and i'm going to put a link to it here. and then maybe i'll try to write stuff that doesn't totally st!nk. maybe not.

i was feeling really anxious and crazy tonight and wrote a stupid post about it.

tick tock tick tock tick tock

remind me why we're single

shawn and i are going to start a web show of sorts. last night we got drunk and decided to embark on our humble beginnings. i'm pretty sure the rest won't be so poorly lit and hopefully nowhere near as annoying. but no promises.

BEHOLD!

breakin' it down one time

just in case david cross is tuning in late, i feel the need to clarify the abundance of david cross references on this fine blog.

you see, sir, we are simply trying to get your attention. we know that you have a 'google alert' for your name, so we want you to see what it's like to be a brisbin. you might like it!

anyway, we're big fans. i'm the biggest.

not physically. i'm actually the smallest brisbin of our generation. but if you're into big chicks, i'll start eating more.

well, david cross, it's been our pleasure.

thanks for visiting.

The Sticky and The Icky

That's right.

We're doing this PB.com style; around the horn with 40 links.

Or 4. It's round-up time.

-- Yankees win on Opening Day and my Fantasy Baseball team in Venn's league blows. Film at Eleven, stats NOW.

-- Allyson Megan Brisbin; If you do not view and respond to the Rayford Faulkner vid I posted here a few days ago, then you shall be damned to a drug den. I know. It's a lot to take in.

--this one is a bombshell, I know, but... David Cross Quietly Marries His Long-Time Girlfriend.

-- In Honor of April Fool's Day; via Lifehacker; it's the Top 10 Geek Pranks. Enjoy!

do you smell what the david cross is cookin'?

i have been unbelievably nasally stimulated today. and i'm not even talking about drugz.

i guess it started on my lunch break, when i actually smelled the coffee i chug everyday instead of just downing it mindlessly, while reading and/or writing.

then i got back to the office and i'm pretty sure i could smell candy being eaten by my arch-nemesis.

then i went to the gym, which is a total assault on all senses. but i've certainly smelled worse things while working out (poop, no lie.).

THEN i returned to the mansion and it smelled like saw dust. i thought maybe the ghosties were building me something. as i climbed the stairs, i smelled hamster poop. as i reached my level, i smelled foreign spices.

i flung myself into my chamber, which reeked of ally: a wonderful potpourri of apples and hazelnut coffeemate, mixed with betta fish flakes and tampons. aaahhhh ... home sweet home.

i went for my now-ritual 10 p.m. stroll about the saratoga sidewalks and smelled lots of neat smells. spring rain and burnt rubber and grilled cheese.

what does this all mean?