I Have A New Hero

Like all true heroes, this man showed up just when a people needed him most: in the midst of chaos.

With economic fears steadily climbing daily, a neighboring country apparently on the brink of a collapse, and two monsters that refuse to die re-emerging we needed someone to look up to and believe in.

He doesn't need a cape, he has his Coors Light sweatshirt. And like all heroes, he has principles that separate him from everyone else. In fact, this separation is exactly what has gained him his new hero status.

You see, he claims that he cannot be charged with driving while intoxicated because he is a "sovereign man." He "lives within [him]self" and not Pennsylvania. The rules and laws therefore do not apply to him.

Brilliant.

Meet Scott A. Witmer.

[Unfortunately, there was no mugshot available, but I did a google search for "my hero" and the picture above is essentially what I would imagine him to look like, if he were a horse.]