A Fork in the Road?

(Note: I am not her Secret Santa.)

down with the clown til she dead in the ground

man kills wife during sex-gun play

the article links to dude's facebook page. guess what? HE A DOWN-ASS JUGGALO.

which is interesting, since at the show eric and i went to, one of the opening acts sang a song about his "freaky chick" (this is after suggesting the audience show him "some titties") and the song was essentially a narrative account of sex at gunpoint.

i'm not saying the song killed the woman or even put it into the guy's mind. indeed, the author of the blog post i linked to suggests maybe the "sex game" defense is just a cover-up. although, i can imagine someone being stupid and short-sighted enough to not unload a gun before literally f*cking with it. especially if he's mid-sugar high from pounding a few 24-oz bottles of faygo.

maybe what's most disturbing about the story is that this 23-year-old man's wife was 50 years old.

Should I... "Fork It Over"? (I'm not going to.)

Xmas Memories: 2010

 I'm hungry just looking at this.

 Xannie ruined this otherwise perfect photo. She didn't smile. Thanks, Xannie. You ruined Xmas.

 Jen, shortly before her life would be changed forever.

 What's up, player?

 In Russia, women are like buses.

 Me, Dad and his little bird friend.

Stars. Film Icons. Talent personified.

 Technical difficulties. So frustrated.

 Both Kara and I were wearing our streaks.

The last time they will ever be together.

Ever.

How I Spent My Monday Night

awesome stuff.
0

yes. the "Band on the Run radio" channel on SiriusXM has overtaken me.

scrotum fire!

No Need to Thank Me: Dancing

Hi, and welcome to another installment of the indispenible "No Need to Thank Me," a column in which I share priceless words of wisdom, inspiring nuggets of truth and helpful hints to help you have a happier, simpler and all-around better life.

Dear STR,


I'm a 16 year old guy. The girl I like asked me to the school dance, which is AWESOME!!! One problem. I don't know how to dance. I need to learn fast, because it's a New Year's dance. Any suggestions?


-Tim
Topeka, KS


Hey, Tim.

Congrats on the date. I can imagine that you're pretty stressed. Have no fear! We'll get you on track.

A lot of people would tell you to learn two dances: a slow dance and a faster dance. Those people are fools. You only need to know one dance, if it is the right one. Luckily for you we here at STR can direct you to the master.

Here's what you do:

1. Put on your best Lycra-based outfit
2. Watch the following video
3. Practice until you have it down

It's that simple, Tim. You're welcome, but really, there's no need to thank me.

Are you in need of some sage advice? Don't hesitate to leave a question in our comments section. You just might find it to be the subject of a future NNTTM column! Wouldn't that make your day? Dare to dream, friends.