overheard in chicago

on the fullerton bus, nov. 28, approximately 10:30 pm:

18-20 year old dude to some old person that had just gotten on the bus: you want a seat? i have SARS.

i'm not sure the hilarity and brilliance is properly translated via the Internets, but it is one of the best things i've overheard in a lonnnnnnng time.

Gobble Gobble, Y'all

Have a safe and happy one, people.

(Is that the guy who was standing behind Sarah Palin?)

this is for dad and his clan

looks like lennon might be headed for heaven, after all!

For Ally

hey paul

a kid webcasted (is that a word?) his suicide on that site you use. that's sad, right?

Adjust Your Menus, People

Alright, I realize that this might be cutting it close and that most people will already have their Thanksgiving ducks in a row, but I would be doing the world a huge disservice if I did not bring this to your attention.

Last year we gave our turkey a bacon tuxedo, complete with a bacon bowtie and lapels. It was self-basting. It was fun. Most of all, it was absolutely delicious.

You've probably heard of turducken, a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken.

Some genius has given the world the Turbaconducken. Behold:


Turducken wrapped in and stuffed with bacon.

Here is the step-by-step Turbaconducken Tutorial.

This would have made the pilgrims proud.

[This has been a public service announcement.]

Another Father of the Year Nominee

Oh, Timothy Allen Hall... Look at you, giving Rollin' Roland Reese a run for his money.

You may not have been arrested in the middle of a high speed shoot out while drinking and stoned with your children in the back seat, but you put a lot of effort into this.

The drunk driving with a suspended license and registration, speeding and leading the cops back to your mobile home to allow them to discover that you left your young children home alone shows real chutzpah.

The fact that the cops then found a bunch of pot that you wrote off as just being "old stuff" and therefore irrelevant is impressive. Your five year old daughter crying and clinging to the officer, pleading to know when she can get you out of jail? Bonus points.

The coup de grace? Well, that has to be when your other daughter (who will turn just 2 years old on Tuesday... Happy birthday, kid!) stumbled into view carrying a pack of Newports with a cigarette in her mouth.

Bravo, my good sir. Bravo.

I thought that this was the stuff of fictitious (and funny) bloggers.

You could give this guy a lesson or two to add to his wonderful site as well.